This Moment To Be Free

I have been studying and learning about Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy – a bridge between body and soul –  a modality I am planning to learn and practice..and as part of my exploration, I took a session with a practitioner. I emerged from the session — a combination of hatha yoga, meditation and Rogerian therapy, that also reminds me of thai yoga therapy and shamanic style dream journeying — with the message from my inner self, the great teacher within, that “I can function in time”.

I am not yet at peace with time…I struggle with leaving enough time to get places. Some days I expand so much into empty space/time that I can spend a whole day just day-dreaming and emailing and computer surfing and not getting things done, and then other days I can be in the flow and efficient and move through space and time like a force of nature, accomplishing everything I want to, and feeling time is my friend.

I am lately feeling the discomfort and crawl of time spent healing – i have a knee injury and need to find time to do an hour or so of relatively boring physical therapy exercises each morning…some days I make the process into a beautiful meditation by counting “om one, om two…” as I go through the movements and other days it is a chore to get myself to do what I need to do to help my body heal. Some days I feel physically better and love the process and feel that the injury (knee cap slightly dislocated, not a serious thing, not a deep-level injury, but just enough to give pain and slow down my yoga practice) is a gift because it gives me understanding and compassion I can use to empathize with my students and later that I will be able to use with therapy clients…other times I just feel pain and cannot do the asanas I want to do and I feel time is too slow and despair of healing in time (for what?) and feel I am getting old.

So what does it mean to receive the message from inside me that “I can function in time”? For my Heart it means, “do not despair – in time, I will function just as You desire and I will soar as my Heart’s Desire  wishes and yearns to do…there will be time, there is enough time, I can function in time”. For my Body it means “don’t worry – I can function within the boundaries of time – and that means I can be with Body at the level that Body lives in — Body lives in Time — Body eats, sleeps, walks, works, eliminates, rests, and heals from illness and injury within Time and in physical, real-time Space — and there is no rushing or changing or manipulating that — only helping Body to Be and to heal in its own way, in its own time”. For my Spirit it means “I can function in Time, even though Spirit itself has no conception of what Time is…Spirit is timeless and although “I” am not timeless when I am embodied as I am now, there is a part of me that is connected to Great Spirit and in Time I can know this and feel it and live from that place”.

Meanwhile I can work on accepting all parts of me, including the artistic and creative Soul who needs to spend some time just sitting and seemingly doing nothing, seemingly “wasting time” while incubating things like this to write about…and the part that just needs to sit with the cats, and the part that can zip around town teaching and studying and getting things done with a smile on my face, and the part that can clean the house and shop and cook the meals and enjoy physical work, and the part that Witnesses it all and is grateful for the opportunity to just be here on Earth struggling and feeling love and joy and fear and anger and happiness and sadness and knowing and not-knowing…

None of this is possible without Time…I could not be having these experiences, unfolding out of myself and into my Self if it were not for being in this mortal Body and operating within the laws of physics and gravity…but there is also the magical Quantum level that I am just learning about…the time that is all times at once, and no times never, and in which time there can be multiple possible and probable outcomes…that is the Dream Time into which I will more and more expand and fly…and into which, one day, if I am blessed, I will find a way to help other people journey and serve the Light by giving my support as they, in time, heal themselves.

Om shanti, om peace.