This Moment To Be Free

Being more embodied is what my friend R. calls it…There is so much “negative press” for “bigger bodies” – health, beauty, etc. – but I want to bring forward what the positives are.

For me, it’s a feeling of calm and peace in my body because my nervous system is well insulated – the good, solid feeling of being more embodied – and how that contributes to my yoga practice by allowing me to feel the peace and flow of the poses with great strength and solidity – especially when I can embrace certain adaptations and a restorative practice, and also understand limits that weight brings, like needing to adapt for pressure on joints – knees and wrists in particular.

And, I need to be honest, real, open about my continuing struggle – that I LOVE how I feel as a soul living embodied in a spacious, capacious, warm, cushiony home – satisfied and calm for the first time since babyhood, childhood – but that I still have moments of struggle with the outside/the images of wanting to be the magazine cover model yogini – with the internalized dis-satisfaction that led me to starve myself in younger days – because adoring that image is so pervasive in our culture.

Part of my path, my dharma, is to find my peace with that image and my own struggle around it, and place more value on how I feel inside than on how I look outside (or how I think I look or should look).

I am coming to realize that this is emblematic/symbolic of my whole path as a woman on this planet – to EMBODY, and go deep, and express and live from deep within – like seeds coming up from deep the earth  to become trees – to bear fruit – to spiritually feed others as a teacher/yoga therapist/therapuetic practitioner.

We are not our bodies, but we live in our bodies and as round, voluptuous women we can honor our bodies as the most comfortable home for our Selves.

om shanti, om peace.